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As they fumble along and learn, watchdogs like Internet of Dongs have sprung up in an attempt to keep track of the risks and help consumers. But sex toy companies, like most IoT companies, are still largely left to police themselves. "In the IoT space, [teledildonics] is one of the biggest threats that exists," says Amie Stepanovich, US policy manager at the nonprofit advocacy group Access Now. Researchers have demonstrated how easy it is to hack into popular products time and again. "These devices, like other IoT devices, are being produced by companies that have never connected products to the internet before," Stepanovich says.

My hips were useless at providing any level of thrust at the angle they were asked. The instructional website the company provides says that once the Balldo is inserted, "light thrusting" is possible, which, as marketing overstatements go, is right up there with Red Bull promising the power of flight. You see—and I am addressing the creators of the Balldo when I say "you" here—inserting any kind of phallus into any kind of orifice requires some amount of force or leverage. We use our hips, our core, our arms, etc. to provide the force necessary to perform the penetrative sex that the Balldo is so hyperfixated on. It was fascinating to hold the Balldo in my hand and feel not excitement or even curiosity, but an intellectual challenge.

Crafted from pliable, durable silicone, the dilators feature a curved silhouette that fits the contours of the vagina, and a finger loop at one end for easy removal. A high-quality toy is a must if you want yours to go the distance, Emma says. As we enter the next phase of life, from peri-menopause to menopause and beyond, what used to feel good between the sheets doesn’t do the trick anymore – or isn’t as pleasurable as it once was.

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