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In essence, you don’t have to say, "Um, hey, so I found your vibrator, do you want to talk about it? But you can still have value-based conversations about sex without your kid wanting to crawl under the covers and play white noise until you leave them alone. In fact, it’s important to discuss consent and birth control and alcohol and all the other things that can help them make smart decisions when the time comes. Finding a vibrator doesn’t have to be the focus of the discussion, but perhaps it’s a catalyst for other topics. Reed also notes that toys can also be useful conversation-starters, especially if you and/or your partner struggle to communicate your needs in the bedroom.

Ancient Egyptian paintings dating back to 3,000 BC depict women wearing phallic objects and paying tribute to gods. ‘Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare,’ explained Professor Conard 1. For nonporous, non-motorized toys, throwing the toy in the dishwasher is also a possibility, according to Stubbs. Regardless of the material of your toy, you should be washing that baby before and after each use.

That said, don’t let this derail you from getting what you want. You aren’t setting your kids up for years of therapy just by ordering a dildo. If they do discover your toys, they won’t be traumatized or scarred for life